The Sleight of Mind That’s Been Controlling You
What if the thoughts you trust most… are the ones keeping you stuck?
There’s a reason good magicians can fool even the sharpest minds.
And it isn’t because they move faster than your eyes.
It’s because they move faster than your EXPECTATIONS.
Here’s the secret...
👉 You don’t see the world.
👉 You see what your brain EXPECTS the world to be... based on pre-loaded patterns (Sit with this idea for a moment, 'cause it's REALLY important)
A magician knows exactly how to trigger those patterns - so your mind "fills in" the trick without seeing the truth.
You DON'T watch what happens.
You watch what you EXPECT to happen.
But, here’s the deeper Spiral truth...
You do this with everything.
➡️With people.
➡️With situations.
➡️With yourself.
Your mind is a MASTER magician, constantly running its own sleight of hand.
Beliefs. Fears. Stories. Old identities.
➡️They are programs loaded without your awareness, causing you to “see” a life that may no longer be true.
Here's a short story to show you the REAL power of your mind...
A Forgotten Leg...
The Leg You Forgot Was Yours
(And Why Some Pain Waits Until You’re Ready to Feel It)
A mate of mine once got blasted off his motorbike.
HARD💥
Came to in a field... Grass in his mouth... Helmet cracked... Body limp.
Eyes flicker open… and there it was.
👉 A leg. Twisted. Draped across his body.
No pain... No panic... Just dazed curiosity.
"Whose leg is that?"
Then, in one brutal blink...
"Holy f*ck. That’s MY leg."
And WHAM - pain like a lightning strike through his entire system.
Not before. Not during...
The moment he fkin' owned it.
(This story is to give you perspective... to show how the nervous system is numb until we observe it) Read on...
The Observer Effect...
Now, imagine your mind as a great player piano.
➡️ Inside it are endless rolls of punched paper, each encoding patterns of notes... thoughts, beliefs, reactions, habits.
👉 Every experience you’ve had ➡️ every story you’ve heard ➡️ every lesson life has given you ➡️ another roll added, or an old roll modified.
When life presents a new situation, your mind DOESN'T analyze it from scratch.
👉 It loads the nearest roll ➡️ and starts playing the predicted tune.
➡️ Hear a certain tone of voice ➡️ anger roll triggers.
➡️See a certain symbol ➡️ belief roll triggers.
➡️ Face uncertainty ➡️ fear roll triggers.
You are NOT thinking from scratch... you're playing rolls.
A friend of mine actually saw these rolls play out... right in front of her eyes.
HOW A GLITCH IN RECOGNITION REVEALS THE SECRET OF PERCEPTION
A friend once told me a strange story.
She knew someone with strong psychopathic traits - flat affect, lack of emotional resonance, but charming in surface ways.
One day, she approached this friend from behind, tapped them on the shoulder.
The moment they turned around, she saw something chilling...
Their eyes were scanning her face... searching for recognition.
NOT lighting up with warmth.
Not "Ah! It’s you."
➡️Just a cold, mechanical profile search.
This was someone they had known for years.
Yet in that moment - it was as if no relational pattern had been loaded.
No "friendship roll."
No shared history.
Just raw pattern matching.
➡️ “Does this face match anything in my database?”
And here’s the deeper truth...
We're all running recognition patterns all the time.
BUT, lightning fast⚡ (we don't realize it's happening)
When you see a loved one, your brain loads a rich player piano roll...
✅ Their face
✅ Their voice
✅ Shared memories
✅ Emotional history
✅ Predicted interaction
The music of that roll plays automatically, shaping your entire experience of the moment.
But what if that roll is outdated?
What if it’s distorted?
What If...
You’re seeing them through an old fight, or an old story, or a frozen emotional tag?
Then you’re no different than the psychopath’s eyes - scanning for a match, but disconnected from true presence.
You’re running an old roll, NOT meeting the real person in this moment.
🜏 MEET THE OBSERVER — THE ONE WHO DOESN’T GET FOOLED 🜏
(A Spiral Way Teaching on the Art of Witnessing)
A magician can fool your eyes.
But only if your mind is asleep at the wheel.
And here’s the kicker...
Your mind’s been driving on autopilot for years.
Not because you’re weak.
Because you’re HUMAN.
Because like every other mind, yours runs on rolls...
➡️ belief rolls
➡️ memory rolls
➡️ identity rolls
➡️ the same story loops with new costumes
Most people live their whole lives INSIDE the piano, not realizing there’s a way to step outside and listen to the music objectively.
That “outside”?
THAT'S the Observer.
The one who sees the roll before it plays.
🔹 Who's the Observer?
NOT your thoughts.
NOT even your emotions.
And NOT your identity.
The Observer is the quiet awareness behind all of that.
The you that watches you.
The stillness behind the spiral.
🔹 Why it matters...
When you're fully inside the roll, life feels inevitable.
➡️ “That’s just how I am.”
➡️ “That’s just how they treat me.”
➡️ “That’s just how it goes.”
But when you step into the Observer, you feel a subtle snap 💥
➡️ “Wait. I’ve played this tune before.”
➡️ “I don’t have to react this way.”
➡️ “There’s another path right here, just slightly to the left.”
The Observer is your escape hatch from AUTO-LOOP
It doesn’t fight the pattern.
It sees it 👀 and in that seeing, the illusion starts to wobble.
🔹 The power isn’t in control - it’s in clarity.
And you don’t need to wrestle your mind to the ground.
You just need to watch it clearly, and let that awareness dissolve the fog.
👉 Awareness without resistance = dissolution without drama.
👉 And THAT'S how Spiral turns begin - not with war, but with WITNESSING
🌀 Field Cue Practice.
Today, try this...
When something triggers you, even just a little ➡️ PAUSE
Breathe.
Ask...
➡️ “What roll just tried to play?”
➡️ “Who would I be if I didn’t run this?”
That’s it.
Don’t fix.
Just notice.
Because the noticing itself is the Spiral.
Simple, but NOT easy, 'cause if it was... everyone would do it... wouldn't they? 😉
This is such a thought-provoking piece! It really highlights how our brains often operate on autopilot, relying on past experiences to shape our present perceptions. The analogy of the player piano is brilliant—it’s a reminder that we need to consciously check which “rolls” we’re playing in our interactions. It makes me wonder how many misunderstandings we have with loved ones simply because we’re not fully present, but instead reacting based on old narratives. I’d love to hear more about practical ways we can “update” these rolls and truly engage with the people around us in the moment. Thanks for sharing this insightful perspective
Thank you, Jannette!
Love how you picked up on the player piano metaphor.
That imagery has stayed with me for years, especially when I catch myself mid-response and think… “Whose tune am I playing right now?”
And you’re bang on…
So many of our misunderstandings aren’t about what’s happening now, but about a past moment still echoing inside us.
(That predictive text on your phone… It’s how our brains work.)
As for updating the “rolls”…
Here’s one practical (and weirdly powerful) way I use…
Pause and narrate in real-time.
When I feel that old script start playing (defensiveness, people-pleasing, shutdown…),
I try to literally say: “Oh wow, this FEELS familiar.
But, that’s not me right now, it’s an old roll/role.”
That tiny interruption?
It’s like pulling the piano key mid-note.
Suddenly, the music stops.
And I get to choose the next line intentionally, not automatically.
I’ll be sharing more tools soon on how to rewrite those inner rolls…
Not just in theory, but in practice.
Appreciate you tuning in so deeply
In your corner
Dedo (Chief MEME Officer)
This post hit me like a ton of bricks – especially the motorcycle accident story. It perfectly illustrates how our minds can disconnect from reality until we’re ready to face it. I had a similar experience (though less dramatic!) when I finally recognized a toxic pattern in my relationship that I’d been blind to for years. That moment of recognition was exactly like the ‘Holy f*ck, that’s MY leg’ realization.
The player piano analogy is brilliant. I’ve been working on mindfulness for years, but I never thought about my reactions as pre-programmed ‘rolls’ playing automatically. Looking back, I can see how many of my responses to situations are just old tunes playing over and over.
Question though – once we notice these patterns through the Observer, how do we start creating new ‘rolls’? Or is the awareness itself enough to create change?
Abby…
This is beautiful.
You’ve just named that moment we all have at some point… when the veil lifts and we suddenly see.
Not just the leg. Not just the toxic pattern. But ourselves, fully in the frame.
That “Holy f*ck” moment?
It’s the crack where the light slips in.
And from that point on, the old rolls don’t run the same.
Awareness doesn’t fix it all, but it does change the music.
The moment you can witness a reaction as an old player piano roll, it’s no longer you.
It’s a thing you can listen to, adjust, or even remove.
Then, slowly, consciously, you build new rolls.
Moments where you choose differently.
Through noticing when the old song starts… and putting your hands on the keys to shift the tune.
Awareness is the first step.
Choice is the second.
Repetition is the bridge between the old roll and the new.
And it’s NOT about erasing the old music.
It’s about learning to play a better song.
Thank you for sharing this Abby.
It’s a reminder that these moments of reckoning aren’t just endings… they’re also beginnings.
In your corner
Dedo (Chief MEME Officer)
This was such a powerful read. It really made me reflect on how often I react from old mental “rolls” without even realizing it. The metaphor of the player piano and the Observer hit home deeply; it’s so true that clarity comes from awareness, not control. I’m now catching myself mid-trigger more often and just watching. One thing I’m curious about—how do you strengthen the Observer muscle over time so it becomes second nature?
Kavitha!
Thank you for sharing this.
You’ve captured it beautifully…
And you’re right… It really is about catching ourselves mid-tune and choosing to listen instead of just reacting.
That shift, from being “in” the pattern to watching it, is the biggest win.
And like any muscle…
The Observer grows stronger with practice.
Here’s how I’ve found it works…
Start Small. Catch one moment a day. Not ten, not a hundred. Just one. Notice it, name it, and breathe.
Make It a Game. Treat noticing like a scavenger hunt. “Ah, there’s that old ‘roll’ starting to play…”
Pause First, Respond Second. Even a two-second breath between trigger and reply gives the Observer space to step in.
Honor the Wins. Every time you notice the old music and choose differently, you deepen the groove of the new roll.
Over time, it WILL become second nature.
Not because you eliminated the old patterns, but because you’ve learned to dance with them.
The Observer doesn’t kill the music, it conducts it.
Thank you for showing up to this work, Kavitha.
It’s in those tiny moments that whole lives shift.
In your corner
Dedo (Chief MEME Officer)