What Near-Death Taught Me About Self-Trust
I was ten years old the first time I really met fear.
Not the monsters-under-the-bed kind.
Not even the “get told off by Mum” kind.
I mean REAL fkin' fear.
The kind that silences your thoughts.
Tightens your chest.
Makes you feel like one wrong move could end everything.
It happened on Mount Edgcumbe, in the West Country.
My cousin Andrew - older, cooler, seemingly invincible, had taken me out for a wild morning adventure.
We were scrambling along sea cliffs.
And climbed like a goat.
So I followed... obviously.
Because that’s what you do when you’re ten and desperate to prove you’re made of the same shit as your older cousin.
But about halfway up, I froze.
The rocks beneath my feet gave way to a jagged drop...
The sea below churned with the kind of ancient rhythm that didn’t care who lived or died.
Couldn’t go up.
Couldn’t go down.
And I swear to you - death brushed my bones.
That’s when Andrew - already higher up - called out...
“Right foot on the ledge just below you.
Left hand… see that little ridge?
You’ve got it. Now shift.”
He didn’t sound worried.
He didn’t say, “You’re in danger.”
He just trusted I could do it.
Now, I already knew Andrew. I trusted him.
But here’s the kicker...
It wasn’t Andrew’s trust that saved me.
It was my decision to trust myself… and move anyway.
That moment etched itself into my nervous system like a sacred sigil.
I didn’t realize it at the time - but that day, I discovered a truth I now live by...
The Real Cliff Most People Are Hanging On
Fast forward several decades, and I’ve seen that same cliff in hundreds of people’s lives.
Not literal rocks this time.
But stuck moments.
Frozen mid-climb.
They want to leap ➡️ Change ➡️ Create ➡️ Speak.
But they don’t trust themselves enough to make the move.
So they stall.
Seek more strategy.
More “proof.”
Another guru to shout down instructions from high above.
And maybe that works for a while.
But you can only outsource your trust for so long.
Eventually, life demands a move that only YOU can choose,
and no amount of PDFs or podcasts will make that decision for you.
Why We Lose Trust in the First Place
Here’s the rub-a-dub-dub...
We’re not born doubting ourselves.
Watch any toddler. They wobble, fall, and get back up again.
No shame. No hesitation.
Just experimentation.
But then the conditioning starts.
👉"Be careful."
👉"Don’t get it wrong."
👉"Wait your turn."
👉"Let the grown-ups handle it."
And before we know it, we’ve internalized the lie that our own instincts can’t be trusted.
That someone else must have the answer.
That certainty lives outside us.
So we become excellent at looking outward.
We follow, compare, seek approval.
We get degrees, buy programs, mimic blueprints…
But when it’s time to leap?
We fkin' freeze.
Because deep down, we haven’t been trained to trust ourselves.
We’ve been trained to perform.
What Happens When You Relearn Self-Trust?
Everything shifts.
You stop asking,
“What should I do?”
and start asking,
“What do I already know that I haven’t dared to act on yet?”
You begin to notice...
➡️The quiet nudges.
➡️The micro-hunches.
➡️The body’s responses.
➡️The spiral loops that keep offering you the same lesson until you finally choose differently.
Because here’s the secret...
Self-trust isn’t loud. It doesn’t campaign for your attention.
It waits… patiently… for your return.
And when you do?
When you finally say “okay” and place your foot on the frickin' ledge?
That, my friend, is when everything changes.
This Isn’t Woo-Woo. It’s Physics.
(Hermetic style, baby.)
The Principle of Mentalism says... The All is Mind.
Which means reality is shaped not just by what you do...
but by what you believe about yourself as you do it.
If you approach life believing you can't trust yourself,
then everything becomes a cliff.
But shift that belief,
just one degree,
and new paths appear where once there were only dead ends.
This is the Spiral Way 🌀
You don’t jump to the mountaintop.
You take one NEW step… from a NEW identity…
and watch the world reconfigure around you.
So What’s This Got to Do with Business, Sales, or Growth?
Everything.
People DON'T buy because they trust you.
They buy when they begin to trust themselves again.
The word "Encourage" means to give courage.
When your content, your offer, your energy…
helps them place their foot on a ledge they didn’t think they could reach?
They’ll never forget you.
Not because you impressed them.
But because you reminded them of who they REALLY are.
Final Thought...
If you feel stuck right now,
mid-climb, feet shaking, frozen by uncertainty...
I don’t need to be the expert shouting from the top.
I just want to say what my cousin said to me on that cliff:
“Right hand there.
Left foot here.
You’ve got this.”
The moment you decide to move...
your spiral continues.
And trust?
It doesn’t need to be loud or perfect.
It just needs to be yours.
What a powerful and beautifully articulated experience! Your story of fear and self-trust resonates deeply. It’s incredible how those childhood moments can shape our understanding of ourselves for decades to come. I completely agree that so many of us get stuck in that frozen state, waiting for external validation instead of listening to our own instincts.
Your insight about self-trust being a quiet force is profound. It’s so true that when we learn to lean into that inner voice, we unlock a new level of potential. I’ve found that embracing those small nudges has led to some of the most rewarding changes in my life.
Thank you for sharing this reminder that we hold the power to shift our beliefs and navigate our own paths. It’s not just about taking the leap; it’s about trusting ourselves to make that leap in the first place. Looking forward to seeing more of your insights!
Jannette!
So glad this one hit home.
That moment on the cliff stayed with me for years… not ’cause of the danger, but because of what it revealed.
And you’re right…
Those childhood flashes shape more than memories.
They shape our wiring.
And most of us do end up waiting on some external “all clear” before making a move that deep down… we already know is ours to make.
The quiet force of self-trust you mentioned… It’s wild, isn’t it?
It rarely comes with fireworks.
More like a calm voice whispering, “Now. Step here.”
Feels like you’ve made friends with that voice, too.
Which means…
You’re probably not just climbing anymore – you’re showing others where to place their hands.
Appreciate you, as always.
More cliff-edge truths coming soon
In your corner
Dedo (Chief MEME Officer)
This part really spoke to me—the image of the toddler just doing their thing without fear or hesitation. It’s such a simple but striking reminder of how naturally we start out trusting ourselves, until all the “be carefuls” and “wait your turn” start piling up.
I felt that line “we’ve been trained to perform” in my bones. It’s so true—we spend years learning how to meet expectations, follow rules, and do things the “right” way, and somewhere along the line, we start second-guessing ourselves at every turn.
That shift you described—moving from “What should I do?” to “What do I already know?”—is something I’ve been working on too. It’s a daily unlearning, but it’s also empowering once you start tuning into your own instincts again.
Curious—what helps you personally reconnect with your own self-trust when the fear or hesitation creeps back in?
Beautifully said, Alyssa…
And I can feel how deeply you’ve lived it. It really is a daily unlearning, isn’t it?
A slow remembering of that part of ourselves that never needed permission to crawl, stand, or wobble towards its own knowing.
What you said about shifting from “What should I do?” to “What do I already know?”
That, right there, is the core of it for me, too.
When the fear or hesitation creeps back in, I do three things…
Pause and Breathe: The space between thoughts is where that quiet voice lives. Even one deep breath can crack open a moment of trust.
Notice the Pattern: I ask, “Is this hesitation me, or is it an old tape playing?” (Naming it gives it less grip).
Return to the Body: Sometimes I’ll walk, dance, or just rest a hand on my chest. The body remembers trust long before the mind does.
And when in doubt, I remember the tiny version of ourselves – the one that didn’t ask for a roadmap to learn how to crawl.
That knowing never left.
It just got buried under layers of “shoulds,” “wait,” and “do it right.”
Trusting ourselves isn’t about finding something new.
It’s about peeling away the noise until that quiet hum can rise again.
Thank you for sharing this reflection, Alyssa.
A sure reminder we’re not doing this work alone.
In your corner
Dedo (Chief MEME Officer)
This piece hit deep. It beautifully captures how self-trust is the quiet superpower we often ignore until life leaves us no choice. I loved the storytelling; the cliff metaphor was such a vivid way to show how fear and growth intertwine. It reminded me of moments where I froze, waiting for external validation, instead of listening inward. Do you have any go-to practices for reconnecting with that inner voice when doubt creeps back in?
Kavitha… once again,
Thank you for sharing this. It’s so true… that quiet voice of self‑trust is always there, but it often takes a “cliff moment” for us to remember it.
Here are a few practices I lean on when doubt creeps in…
Pause & Breathe – Literally. A slow breath can create just enough space to ask, “What does the quiet part of me know?”
Journal – Not to fix or analyze, but to listen. Let the words spill until the whisper becomes a sentence, then a truth.
Move the Body – A walk, a stretch, a moment of stillness can help the internal voice rise above the static.
Trust the Tiny Nudges – The big “aha” moments often arrive after honoring the small cues first.
That quiet knowing doesn’t shout.
It hums.
The more we slow down long enough to FEEL it, the stronger it becomes.
It’s just practice… Bit like tuning an instrument.
The more you return to it, the more it becomes second nature.
Thanks for sharing this reflection, my friend, because it’s in moments like these that trust finds its roots
In your corner
Dedo (Chief MEME Officer)
P.S. It’s a lot like predictive text on your phone… after enough taps, it starts guessing your next word.
The brain works the same way.
The old thoughts have been doing this for years, repeating the same lines until they feel like the only option.
But when you practice pausing, listening, and choosing differently, you teach it a new script. Slowly, that quiet voice becomes the one it suggests first.
Make sense?